Work upon yourself instead of feeling overly responsible for others!!
It is not possible to be in control of our minds all 365 days in a year. More so even for 24 hrs in a day, we have opportunities to lose control because our stakes are high and we desperately need things to be done perfectly at work and at home.
The “me” have to get things done, and the “me” have to train my children to have perfect bodies and minds. The “I” have to teach my colleagues professionalism, the “I” have to finish projects on time, and why others, colleagues, children, family, subordinates are not understanding what the “I” got to teach them? Why are all of them so erroneous? It becomes the “my” responsibility to lead them, teach them, control them and they become the “my” responsibility!!
The secret is, the “they” feel the same, and want to be responsible for themselves, and no two eyes look at the same things alike. It is therefore always good to acknowledge this fact, and let go most interactions and create a span of control where you have to give room to your children, colleagues and friends to keep their originality and permission to explain themselves to people.
They work upon themselves, and you work on yourself, I am responsible first for myself then others, I do have something to teach here, you may not like it but it might strike you some day, that may be what I said is out of experience and you will try to follow. Only this much is my responsibility towards others.
If you put allegations on me, my work is to clarify myself, rest you do not matter to me about the fact whether you are clear about me henceforth.
I see people spitting on roads. This simple act makes me feel really dirty, I see filthy, obscenity on road. I can take a health education session in a particular village regarding hygiene, and it is at this moment when I deliver the lecture to the people concerned under my span of control. They become my responsibility and not every other person whom I spot spitting on roads. That is how life is.
My children should be perfect according to me, not other people’s wards unless they come to me to be taught or when their mothers need my advice.
Once the burden of others has been erased, I am left with plenty of mental and physical time to work upon myself for my nurturing. This is a bliss in today’s world. I can read more books, write more, try to enhance my looks, take care of weight gain, meditate, do yoga, go for walks, explore places, discuss my knowledge with people around me, and really live.
Self is not selfish. The self is something that makes us feel, and makes us unique. First take your own responsibility to lead a blissful life. The self becomes distorted in mental illness, that is sad, but it still is self, that which compels us to seek help to become sane again. Our self matters only to us, others only impose because they worry only about their own self. It is not selfish, it is how we can live our lives with least problems and stop others from being a burden on us.