What solitude taught me in the past few months……

It is fine if you don’t get along with me or you don’t like me anymore. It is perfect if you abandon me, thinking I learnt a lesson without you!! May be I shall revert back, try to adjust with you the way way you want me to but mayhem and chaos is the only thing that I received from you!!

“I have a good EQ unless proved otherwise”.

I do not like it if I grow miserable and labile with each step turning deliberately towards misfortune in my life. It isn’t the misfortune that I dread because I know how to convert it to fortitude through my outlook and yes I have received immense success through my vision which only sees the positive side.

I hear at times that “ this girl is sick”. From those people close to my heart who never understood the meaning of being sick…they simply do not know what it is like to imbibe sickness from outside…so I am alone…..thanks, by the way, I am not encouraging friends out there to pounce on me, thinking that I am ALONE!! I can manage my solitude. I called you people friends; my best friends so no offence.

Before I share my learning, remember that “No Man Lives Like an Island!!”

I have siblings, parents, colleagues and people who helped me enjoy my solitude to embark upon my own for silly adventures like a country ride. Sounds boring; but instead of finding my space in their lives or trying to fit in deliberately, I have started ignoring the harm that it cost me several years ago.

My inner voice says; “Mind your own business, just do your duty and relax alone”.

To bestow your grace, effort, love to others, first one needs to stand up…stand erect with clear conscience that you never messed up and deserve to be you at all times and not what others want you to. But did I learn this?

Still learning….

“It is a disdain for the soul to give up when the body is still going strong”- Marcus Aurelius

So I don’t give up!!

Now minding my own business does not mean that I learnt not to bother about others or some marriage liaison, love, giving birth, neither do I label these as meant for the insane….No, I truly believe in the institution of marriage, previously I thought a lot about it and if it doesn’t harm you and helps you live healthy and procreate, when your better half helps you achieve what you desire, and we both carry forward this legacy together like two people who are most mature and flexible about stuff……………..

Not even this!!

So now the revelation, I learnt that there is some logic to become calculated!!

I learnt it the hard way…….

A calculated mind keeps you composed, and you seldom make mistakes if you often analyse things before jumping to conclusions or act in haste. You do not have to do a lot of arithmetic to become calculated. What if you decided to do some research, and when one final day you want to publish your work, in haste, you forget to revise carefully and simply put your hand on the button and your work goes viral with many mistakes. So never impulsive, cross check every lock and close the windows before you finally close your main door when going out to work. Check all keys first.

In the beginning for your transformation, only calculate your time!! If time is in your hand, say the 24 hrs of this day, learn to spend it according to yours and your alone heartfelt desire. It could be posting a blog, learning for an exam, spending moments at a casino, gambling, walking for an hour after work, with or without your favorite people around.

You must brush up in the morning, your call for the day and calculate the next day before you sleep for the next. I feel awesome this way. I am living by my own terms. I am able to do small stuff with great perfection, and finishing difficult projects on time. I am truly living…..

I know when to buy groceries and what kind, spend some moments reflecting, planning my career, taking care of my skin and even feeling those emotions I forgot long ago for my parents and siblings, they live far but I talk to them, there is a sudden bout of cohesiveness all around…now they are not my responsibility be it family or friends!! I am living for myself…and that is why this solitude was necessary. I thank my good luck for this.

My advice to people who are victims of neglect, abuse, violence or even those who never experienced any such thing is to spend time alone to figure out things and rejoice to come back to mainstream happier. So try saving time even if alone and feel the abundance that the almighty has bestowed upon you…. This Life !!

Don’t be cranky, cringe or brood over your past mistakes or people’s behavior especially if it isn’t directed towards you. Do not involve unnecessarily, only when you are asked for help. Calculate first whether you can be of help or you may ignore the problem like many managers are trained for.

The next step is to calculate how much of what you need and what step to take to attain it. You can logically approach people, gather resources and manage yourself with respect to your goals. You don’t become selfish, calculation keeps you from doing crazy things or fall for the wrong people and wrong things.

You can now calculate your potential. The environmental assessment you have done, now work on yourself, if you have been giving priority to others, why not you become your own priority…isn’t this a great way to live. Don’t expect only laurels, you might have to face a setback and recover to continue.

So good luck with this abundance when you grow from inside out. Environment builds us but we have only one life to sculpt our environment if we know what it should be like, if you know what is right. It comes with alone time exploration of your life.

Be successful in life!!