The only freedom we have in life is to choose, sometimes not even that!!

How to live free?

“Bind her in the chain of matrimony, she will learn how to live!!”

I saw her infuriated at the most trivial issue of daily life. Her anger had no reason, yet she was. It was helplessness, opinion-bound discomfort, a strong sense of the good and bad. She always wanted to break free. “From what?”, I asked her, she said “I am suppressed,” “because of whom?” I asked, she said, “I do not know”!! Then I just laughed.

We are bound together as a family, and my mother sabotaged her freedom when she got married, it was further taken away when I was born. Was I some liability or did she choose me over her freedom?

My opinion on freedom is that it can never be free. If you have a job, you cannot do things as you like it, there are mechanisms that involve others even if you own a business. To work free people leave their 9–5 job. But then our acceptance by peers or family life or money becomes a concern. We decide to live alone. But no man lives like an island, we go to the cafe or bar to chat with someone, see some new faces. We have the responsibility to lead ourselves and to improve ourselves, we need to do the right things, this sabotages our freedom to live a free life. Others matter, environment matters. The day you leave your job, a theft happens at home and you lose 8000 dollars…..misfortune? How to earn for your medical expenses?

Therefore, no one on this Earth is free. And we are social people, we cannot isolate ourselves. We are impacted by each other. When you listen to the news from the remotest country location, it makes us react to it. So our responsibility is not to control our emotions but still not become impulsive even though it is difficult.

The meaning of freedom to me is different. Having your own choice can also be difficult. We cannot choose our parents, life-partner choice can be a compromise, what our children want to become and what they actually turn out to be could also be a compromise. So where is the free will? Free thinking? Free being? We are not free if we want to perform not sleep away in life? I thought about these things, and I have made myself clear about the following ways to become free.

1. Free your mind about good and bad things other people do. Take every interaction as their culture and upbringing. They may not be very serious when they undermine your standards of good or bad. I had a friend who could swear a lot. He was the most irritating. But over the years I found people swear at me for no reason, or use bad language even my relatives just because I want to live single. They do not understand my background so I need not explain to them. They are not my special buddies anymore. Some friends out here understand and correct my mistakes professionally. That is beautiful liaison. It means I have sabotaged myself and am ready to listen to them. They may have a viewpoint. It does not make me good or bad. It’s just that I allowed them.
2. Be clear about your goods and bads- We should know how to lead ourselves. Those are my goods and bads, that is how I want to be. If I keep changing my principles for others, I shall land up in a mess. I am a huge fan of my people. I want to be highly professional. My family can call me callous, success oriented or selfish but that’s not true. I love them, and this love drives me towards success, a family’s policy is to raise successful and loving children according to my definition of goods. Bads like ignorance and neglect of children of my family is not my thing. I get involved even if not welcomed. Not that I have super experience of how things should be, but this is my freedom that I get to share what little I know so that the children of my family do not suffer through the same pattern like me.
3. Discipline and routines set you free- What food to eat from a variety of choices is enough novelty and flexibility in a day. Rest all should be pre-planned and figured out. Uncertain adverse outcomes are rare if you follow the discipline. You save time by a routine. Continuing can make you think of other new ways to accomplish your goals, but if you mess up the first 3 hours of your day by not getting up on time, you falter in having breakfast and rush everything not tasting life on that particular day. In haste you do not look around, do not smile, do not love yourself, have no time left for others. To enjoy your life freely do not leave discipline. As for me , I like to wake up at 4 am even on a Sunday to freely enjoy my life. If I keep sleeping or indulge in psychedelics to combat loneliness then my trade-off for living alone makes me a loser. I need to embrace this loneliness. My life cannot pass by unattended. Similarly you should also embrace life, enjoy every part of it. Remember if you prepare for it, you enjoy the process and live fruitfully. Not only for yourself, for everyone around who has hopes from you. If no-one expects from you, you are still free. Rather if so many people expect from you, you are free to choose responsibly or give up on your dream, find your niche and sleep away your life addicted to drugs.

So that’s it. Good and bad are for you, not expected from others. People have different backgrounds. Only this is worth acknowledging. We cannot be truly free in life if we want growth and an evolved mind. And discipline and preparation makes you value your freedom.

I would like it if people have different opinions. Do respond. You may have your own choices to live free. As for me, freedom is not free.