The fallacy of Depth
Wondering right now, what happened to me around 10–12 years ago when I was so perturbed. It could be ageing before my age……the thoughts, readings, working deeply.
This is not more of selfishness, but a bit rendering ourselves thought conscious. The emotion called love for all beings, that had guided me previously in all of my interactions with people. All were friends, my span of control expanded, and I had to handle it gracefully. Then some agitation, suddenly the environment becomes my own responsibility, my thoughts become own responsibility. It is not only live and let live philosophy that I wanted to think about but to dive myself into my own mind. Checking and re-checking righteousness that an individual seeks before trying something worth doing in accordance with their goals. When a person is enlightened they shut themselves off, and sort things out, figure out workable solutions to life’s problems then apply them around. We want more of ourselves, secluded.
The most important hack in personal development is to learn to live alone. This triggers thoughts and emotions worth exploring. I am not talking about sadistic loneliness. I am referring to the necessary types, for about 12–15 hours in a day. Practice being alone for at least 12 hours, without having to talk on phone to anyone, ostracizing yourself from people and unnecessary influence and I bet there would be great revelations and intellectual development as well as more accomplishments. Go deep with yourself, understand your emotions, correct your thoughts, think about your environment when you are with people, plan next steps, read books, write, and pamper yourself and try to reach the depth in life.
When you interact with the world, be superficial but when you check yourself, go deep. Understand your intellectual needs and develop inner power to fulfill those needs. Dealing with other people must be good and straight line. Why should you think of ways to bring people down, your company must make them rise and when you take stuff superficial and practical with others, you gain the energy to go deep with yourself. It will alleviate the mental pain and excitement when you keep others in perspective when not alone. You did your homework of understanding yourself and others. Its not to please but to be good. An affirmation that you are there for family and friends and acting upon deeper understanding about yourself, makes you a gift, a boon and not a pain in the ass. It adjusts you better with others. For example, you are bad with maths and your competitor at workplace is very good at it and he takes this advantage over you. To avoid unnecessary stress, you can concentrate in improving your mathematic skills or enhance your writing skills instead of finding ways to put down your colleague, creating a bad environment for the organizational and personal growth. If you keep thinking of putting him down at every step, it creates personal rivalry and not a healthy professional competition. Gradually you will understand that you cannot gain anything from it, neither you improve your maths nor enhance other skills, your mind runs to find out ways to put others down, if you do not double check, your thinking becomes criminal.
Sometimes the depth is scary because its adjunct is loneliness which could be both the cause and effect. If you are deep, you are termed boring, not fun or too much for others. Therefore, if you are deep, you have a right to not show it. This connection with yourself should be profound, undeterred and strong. Enjoy your time with others superficially. They matter only if we do not critically analyze each and every interaction and not take things personally. Even if we propagate the clause, “no man can live as an island”, most of us are alone despite the people around, family and friends. So practice this depth for a higher order thinking, a mature thinking.
When one is at peace with themselves, they grow. We read more of what we like, we plan what to do, what to correct, what to let go and improve. We deal with our expectations with ourselves and will not sway despite the unnecessary hopes that people have from us. We can deal with such hopes by considering them in our alone time. We become calm and relaxed and become a person people envy. Not doing or thinking what we do not conform to, creates balance, and not conflicts.
This spiritual growth for most people happens when they become old. But I think it is cool to develop such a mind earlier on. It creates a mature and accomplished community and not disturbed people. Not all are saints and anger can be the initial emotion we deal with when we are alone. We can be angry with others or ourselves. Do not be reluctant to acknowledge the anger and sadness which creeps in. Work upon it, as it is a nascent stage towards personal growth. Love your anger and develop self-critique as well as self-love. Do not consider it as self obsession, develop a deeper understanding of your purpose and emotions, remember be superficial when with others, deep with yourself. Most of us do the opposite, we do not work on ourselves and depend on others for deep relationships. You end up with chaos this way. I have been through it so just emanating what I learned through this process.
Gain spirituality through this fallacy of depth and I am sure, joy comes to you in different ways and you tend to become a good person first, who then raises their standard and expects more from himself and not from others.
Merry Christmas!!
