Praiseworthy?
Praises from or to the unworthy?
Promulgation of your craft is a very decent skill. It is satisfying for a social soul. Talking about our accomplishments is a well accepted marketing skill. But in one of my spiritual practice, I ask myself: Am I praiseworthy? Am I shame-worthy? Let me share this story of a father and a son and then explore the futility of praise and shame.
A boy grew up as a very responsible young chap. He was so good in studies. He was a hard worker, took care of his father’s wealth meticulously and brought good luck to his family by being the most ideal son a couple can ever raise. He had a vision. He wanted to outshine others but not in a negative manner. He competed only with himself. He was 16 years old but he never gambled, never took alcohol or smoked a cigarette. He always praised his family, and was proud of them. He was generous enough with compliments for his brother’s wife and children, and for the younger siblings. A perfect and chaste soul he was who one day decided to pursue an engineering course. Reluctantly his father agreed. The young chap set out for his journey. He performed well and received an honors degree. Several years of hardships followed in his life when after 20 years of setting himself in one avenue, he reaped a fortune. A lot of experience!! His father came to him and asked for money. He said I paid for your degree. You are accomplished because of me…..
I shall leave the story incomplete here. I think many of us help our children grow and achieve. So, is it with a desire that he repays the amount spent on him to his family? Instead of a strong foundation, we attack his backbone which is his education if he refuses to pay back? Shouldn’t he save for times when his father really needs the money in old age, or must he take loans to do his best for his father and siblings and keep praising him for sponsoring his education. Is it really worth it? Parents are mostly praiseworthy according to family values and if we fail to praise them, we become shameless? Or if some people in our workplace, out of their professional rivalry encroach upon your self-worth, should you be sensitive and become subdued or ignore the politics and swim through the glaciers to the Newfoundland? Or resort to self detestation, never cross boundaries, become frustrated and stagnate?
These questions that I have mentioned add to the futility of this article. Actually these are not needed. But I wrote it with a purpose of acquainting you to the fact that question your worth only to yourself, because even a father has the ability to make his son worthy or worthless if worth depends on praise. The son should not depend on his father for his self worth but it hurts.
“We do not belong to everyone around us but we become similar to people around us.”
Therefore, we must first belong to ourselves to have distinct attributes that make us outshine others or be with some happening crowd that outshines together, everyone with their own style of winning in life. This we call an ideal family or workplace. We don’t shame others, if we do we are ashamed and we are not so praiseworthy, yet we are easy with words to praise others. But this is not as simple as it seems.
Marcus Aurelius wrote,
“Someone who does not know that there is an ordered universe does not know where he is. Someone who does not know the natural purpose of the universe does not know who he is or what the universe is. Someone who fails in any one of these ways could not tell the purpose of his own existence either. So what do you think of the man who fears or courts the applause of an audience who have no idea where they are or who they are?”
An intelligent person knows his worth even if there is no praise. Also, he does not force others to praise or shame him. He is full of compliments and while considering himself a work in progress, keeps to his work slow and steady, is self-aware, knows all his shortcomings, does nothing out of compulsion but out of necessity. Such a man is always praiseworthy. Such people are saviors for those who look up to them. Such people are beyond life and death. They are beyond shame and praise, comfortable in their niche and courageous in the universe which is awaiting them with opportunities worth exploring. Yet their goal and purpose is intact irrespective of all shame and praise, killings and births, love and hate, work and idleness. We believe in such people. You are that Marcus, I am that Marcus!!
So what are you waiting for? Make a mark. Do not wait till they are all praises.
Do not depend on others, they do not depend on you even if they do. They are unworthy bystanders. Their comments are worthless. Again withstand the fact that you are unworthy according to them also. Because if they understood your worth, they never would have brought shame to you and you could have been continuously praiseworthy among them. Those who are undeterred with you may correct you but shall never bring shame to you. Rest are unworthy.
