No don’t be meek, but not aggressive…but not?
My maternal grand mother was an exemplar of emotional living who was comfortable in atrocities bestowed upon her by her children.
Early in the morning I am thinking of misfortune today. I can also think that I am lucky to be here, writing stuff, to ease my verbal diarrhea which needs expression somehow. But it still makes me think negative because mostly I am positive. Writing is the safest way to not boil up and seek peace of mind, regaling my grand mother who had a vision but never someone who could heed to it. There never appeared someone with ears to her agony which used to creep up now and then, with futile efforts, and ultimately left her feeling subdued, vulnerable, and still she enjoyed in her remorse. Her six children were always right and unaccepting of each other that made her crave for love but what she did not know is its futile to seek love, may be she knew, so she gave love to them. She calmed herself and was comfortable always after a few moments of agitation which was inevitable.
Her meekness was her weakness but she never knew that she should not change herself continuously to fit into her children. As her grand daughter I wanted to tell her, being meek was her strength. Do not feel bad ‘Naani’ if you cannot become aggressive upfront before your children. These foolish souls think if they can have an upper edge and suppress others, they have won the conversation. And that is what they do for living.
Despite so much which I need not express all today, I was proud of all of them. But I kept thinking of reasons why they are unfortunate? Why do they have enormously huge lists of dissatisfaction in their life and no room for adjustment with each other, enjoying themselves in each other’s company and be loving? What brings them misfortune? How come all of them are so intelligent?
Then I thought, they do not switch off and they do not let go. This is my ultimate revelation. Epic. They are brilliant and intelligent, where to vent out?
And it becomes difficult to handle all equally brilliant minds who just need one advise and nothing else. The advise that will make them good at everything with a successful family story is ACCEPTING others and also one’s own circumstances, money wise, relationship wise, love wise, and accomplishment wise. When they or anyone who happens to read this post, should understand the value of acceptance, it helps in succeeding. If we do not accept certain flaws in ourselves, we shall never fight an honest battle and lose ourselves thinking circles not squares.
Problems should not be handled as vicious circles, but like squares. One challenge at a time, at the end of each challenge, you either fail and change direction or get success at the end and again let go even that once you reach the square’s edge and continue to travel squares, coming back to square one with another goal or strategy to keep flowing together in the journey called life. To think square is to accept, to think circles is to be never out of the head just revolving in outbursts rather than find a solution.
They are better now. Ageing has healed some of them, but still a lot needs to be done. We need experiencing the story of life and that is my prodigy.
I live mindfully. I also have an outlook.
Not always should everyone compete, it is a source of insecurity. Calm down and accept your situation, build from there. I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago, but I weaned off thinking squares. I am back to square one, I’ll let it go because there are things planned for myself in this particular year, which is not to gain name, fame or any such thing. It is to keep flowing with the need to grow with growth. To explore. To experience things not many have gone through. Continuing my professional growth could be a bad decision, but I am comfortable this way, so why bother the good or bad qualities of my decision? At the end of the day, today I shall retire feeling happy to decide professionalism and not quit despite the repercussions of my choices and decisions. Ability to choose your path has been described by all Gods of all religions. Yes indeed, experience life according to yourself. That is true freedom, no country or country men can stop you from deciding your personal path.
This decision makes us less intolerable, clear and happy, and when our inside is comfortable, we better accept others the way they are. We become less of trouble makers in other people’s life. It makes our intentions clear and live fantastic. Nothing can harm us, if we consider things like challenges not harm. But also remember, changing our outlook and giving love are more important than always keep having high expectations from ourselves and others. So try acceptance, everything else falls in place. You will then truly enjoy your journey towards growth in life.
Neither meek nor aggressive. Neither extrovert nor introvert. Not a balancing act but balance. The secret revealed for gaining experience and living mindfully is to fully accept every part of you and circumstance. It will balance us. We can endure hardships and still smile courageously at what might happen in the next second that you are spending alive. And be that person you want to be discarding all influencing factors but considering them with acceptance of your circumstance. It’s not misfortune after all.
