Higher order thinking has built my intolerance towards concluding anything subjectively

It has increased my objectivity and it makes me move on!!

What being a multi-linguist has taught me is patience with language, words, grammar and understanding. What the author says is enough. It is my first impression about a particular article. I take work as a piece of art, a creativity and some lesson iterated as time and tested by some other individuals who themselves have gone through a lot. A few months ago it was not like that. I was very critical about what others speak and write or allegations that they imposed on me at workplace. I was critical with no progress towards synthesis and innovation or evaluation. I used to criticize without a solution!!

I used to think a lot about my misfortunes and then negate those thoughts, to find acceptance and position among other people, not withstanding the fact that people have selfish motives or their own legacy is much more important to them, not mine. They do not want to share with me. And then the revelation: they are shrewd enough to exploit my being in a position and make me realize indirectly that my worth is less than theirs.

I fought with them that freedom is not free, we have to go about things collectively which sabotages our freedom for common good. I still hold by that and then I came across this; that taught me a fresh meaning of freedom, about moving in a straight lane and not getting agitated by fools who themselves have lost direction, so how can they teach me?

How then can you secure an everlasting spring and not a cistern? By keeping yourself at all times intent on freedom- staying kind, simple, and decent- Marcus Aurelius

I taught myself objectivity. Certain things happened that made me courageous enough to speak my mind boldly. I felt a little less subduction. I became more prepared and relaxed for attaining any goal that I committed myself to. I dared to raise my voice against some culprits. But the three ways that kept me free were my decency, kindness and simplicity. I internalize without the urge to be overly critical for petty things. I never have ever used bad language and I was cross with men and women who used to. These people I disliked a lot due to their language. But I realized that I cannot change their experiences and upbringing. After a huge turmoil, I am back again to simplicity. I think this is why I thrived for so long. But now I feel more secure with the experience of raising my voice against what I do not like.

That suppression of being good or that empowerment that I am good. That idiocy of shouting at loved ones for something extrinsic outside home for some reason or that necessity to raise voice against those miscreants assertively.

An assertive speech, more understanding thoughts about other people, control which is liberating and not confiscating, that self-belief is required to feel free. But freedom is not free, we need control and no suppression agreed but if we want power then be it over ourselves and not others. I know some people who are maniacs when it comes to self expression, for their aspirations they want to stop others from prosperity nor let us grow each day with knowledge and rich abundance.

So I write. When no one bothers, I write. I write, not to bother other people. These few writings do not earn me a fortune but its more than money. It gives me pleasure, an oxytocin release, being loved……much more than self love, self compassion and an imagined or thoughtful good work that might help people to lead their life well like I do.

So I need not analyse anything and everything that is not academic. My fixed goal is academic success, so why bother or become someone who loathes herself and others as slaves of circumstances? There is no need to adjust, one’s need is not to create impressions about things that are not science. You know what they are- judgments, reactions, shamelessness, unselected words, and speech, incompetence, jealousies and so on. Such things are creepy. I want to stay away from them. I am back to being myself. It’s pretty convincing that when you are simple, kind and decent you can check for yourself that you are free, I am free. Do this much and be free. Why do we need to be on cloud nine always. As a doctor I am attracted towards humbleness and intelligence. I have met some people like that lately, I like them and it sets me free. Instead of impressions, I form of words, I let go always and create my thought process non judgmentally.

Remember this,

Can a man please himself when he regrets almost everything he does?- Marcus Aurelius

Let go resentments, and live like you never have lived before when you were agonizing because others are not happy? They are not my responsibility. I take charge for myself undeterred by not harming my decency.