Exploring truthfulness inside should not be a style statement, it should make you comfortable!!
What is the truth?
Is the truth facts or feelings? Are the facts the same as described by different observers? There is a huge paradigm shift when the Lord Shiva perceived by those days onlookers, dancing in anger (tandava), as an indication that something wrong was soon to happen compared to the perception we have about the contemporary Shivas, who act similarly, when they do not consume the drug of abuse. Both are drug addicts. And, may be, the Lord will bestow his wrath upon me for calling him a drug addict…..But I learnt in school that God is the most forgiving and is called God because he does not like being called the God after all!!
The Lord is feelings not facts.
A woman in her quest to please her husband, lies to him and learns to cook good food from all the sources she can find and lets down other women in her family to appear best in the eyes of her husband, is in love………….the feeling is true, not the facts, but eventually this feeling shall make her a good cook. She will keep practicing out of love and prove to her husband that she is the one eternally made for him. Here her feeling is true that shall be her truth throughout her life.
Before becoming a skilled surgeon, someone took a chance, she lied to her seniors that she has practiced 5 similar surgeries earlier, and got a fair chance which made her an expert in who she is now. Her will is the truth!!
A girl, who did nothing less than hard work always in all her endeavors and was a perfectionist, did not realize that she needs a break and stop pushing so hard to get there, finally channelized her energy to create something that might help people around her, messed up with a mind and heart not synchronized and goals adrift!! A feeling and work true, but appeared out of context and became untruth.
When two different people read a piece of literature not everyone gets the same ideas. We are a blend of our parents, families, schools, culture, religion, state, country, friends and so on. We are not merely a human body. Our environment sculpts us. Those who frequently change their environment and views are certainly more mature at handling difficulties than those who are rigid and not flexible. Their flexibility is lack of prudence for some or they might be perceived as people who cannot take a stand, which is again not the whole truth. Their flexibility proves that they took a stand to create a change around them or may be their indifference to protect their own goals, or just to become comfortable and adjusting within the ever changing environment. Even this also is not well expected and accepted by some, if we put people first!!
So it means all these people are opportunists or people pleasers?
We can have good people as those who are less IQ people pleasers or high IQ people pleasers or those who repeatedly use bad words and escape saying people do not matter to us “balls”, we do not please people we do what we want to do, eventually want to please others with this attitude, and find a particular kind of space for themselves where they are undisturbed and others who watch them in awe and feel they can be lead by such people who do not need formalities to be pleased and consequently please.
No two people are alike. If it is possible, learn to be yourself, do not be guilty if you want to please, because get this idea straight that you are not pleasing people at all. You all are trying to gain acceptance because of your good and pure souls, like many other souls, who are being misjudged by their own people every day because it is a fact that people are worried only about their own viewpoints, you never mattered in the first place because if it was not so, you wouldn’t be explaining today. I am writing this after reading a blog post on medium about someone who empowered her therapist to be rude to her. That is not good. Because if you are being good and courteous, it is not to please or act, you are good and can still be assertive. May be your mind needs peace with yourself, your therapist means a lot to you, her actions and reactions have an impact on you so you need to tell your therapist that you are in a fix and are giving reasons (justifying) for the same as you need help to stop the mental jargon which is making you feel bad already. She needs to politely get you out of it. She means a lot to you. Good manners always attract and heal. Many of us smile no matter what. We may be feeling like crap inside but that smile saved our soul. We sometimes lie to save our precious soul from disintegrating. It is fine if you are good either way, lying or not. Our demeanor speaks a lot about us. We should mean no harm unless we are forced to say “balls” and again we please that way. At the end of the day, be kind and truthful to yourself. Being true to yourself does not mean that on a particular day when you eat a milk chocolate despite having told your friends that you love dark chocolates only, is being untruthful. Love life, be full of life and live heartily. Do not be guilty of being a bad person sometimes on some days in certain situations. Do not let a bad guy, who did not understand you or your decency to disintegrate you. Please channelize your energy into something like writing, painting, visit art galleries, long walks or yoga and ask your therapist to not be condescending, ask her to heal you. It is not good to let down people who have hopes from you. Explain your part even when they are not pleased politely or with examples. Eventually they will understand because what means a lot to you is nothing or very trivial for them (for both the client and the therapist). Practice love first, free thinking shall follow (most sought form of freedom), that blog post needs acceptance and is not to be understood by the way the author’s rhetoric is twisted and turned by her therapist, unless there is some derealization as is the case in certain mental disorders. We need to have feelings first, truth is not just the facts. I am sure that things done or said with feelings are never wrong and never bad for your mental health. Do not over think, be spontaneous not impulsive. It’s good to be a self pleaser, but do not be guilty of being pleasant to yourself or others…take things lightly and adapt to situations like it’s comfortable to your personality.
