Be yourself to become strong
Before I begin this discourse, I request the reader to close their eyes for 5 minutes and reflect on when was the last time you wanted to be yourself, but were influenced by external obligations to act not according to your convictions. If not longer at least think about today or a week ago that has passed by without your mind full analysis of your real needs and character.
“It is disgraceful for the soul to give up when the body is still going strong” — Marcus Aurelius
Life is to be lived. We cannot keep going forward and backwards at the same time. We need to create our life further no matter how difficult it becomes. Only a strong person can overcome and the most important attribute of strength comes from being ourselves on all occasions. I used the word occasion for instances when you have planned something to write, speak or clear your doubts. Of course, you cannot be yourself when you have to please someone unless you are like-minded. You cannot be yourself if you are weak, scared, and fretting inside to gain acceptance from people who are fake themselves or are trying to please you. Being yourself is a great responsibility that can predict your strong character. I stand for myself!! Even if you or I want to adjust, do so in a manner that does not go against your character, your convictions, and your strength.
The going gets difficult when it is family at stake, a career at stake, or anything or everything that matters to you. Learn the art of putting forward your viewpoint in front of the person instigating you to leave your version of yourself. I do not say not to listen to your teachers, you may develop good habits, and changing oneself for the better is character in itself. Still, you have the freedom not to change if you know your path, even though the consequences are grave. Until you have a body until you are not dead, you are free to create your destiny; you can influence your crowd, family, and friends. Or set out on your journey alone until they say yeah you did right or I told you it isn’t right.
An excerpt from the Vedic literature goes like this:
“For the sake of the body, which is a source of constant trouble to him and which follows him because he is bound with ties of ignorance and fruitive activities, he performs various actions which cause him to be subjected to repeated birth and death. If therefore, the living entity again associates with the path of unrighteousness, influenced by sensually minded people engaged in the pursuit of sexual enjoyment and the gratification of the palate, he again goes to hell as before. He becomes devoid of truthfulness, cleanliness, mercy, gravity, spiritual intelligence, shyness, austerity, fame, forgiveness, and control of the mind, control of the senses, fortune, and all such opportunities.” (Bhag.3.31.23–33)
During my childhood, I said, I would love to be reborn again and again. I always want to be full of life in all births. Even my sister agreed to it. We want to indulge in life, know all that is clean and dirty to compare and go accordingly according to our own character and circumstances. To achieve something we cannot keep thinking about heaven or hell. The excerpt provides a way to live that was created by some wise souls who studied life then when we had a scarcity of opportunities and resources. Meditating their way through life, they taught us to become clean and spiritual. Remember, spirituality is the ultimate goal in human life. This is the only path in all religions to understand the forces making us what we are. We want to join the cosmos as some energy, some chemicals, or soil one day when we die. How beautiful it becomes to achieve cleanliness of mind, and body, seek intellectual and spiritual pleasure, indulge in food moderately, practice yoga, play with small children, give birth to babies, and try not to keep falling in love every season with a new person. You can have friends but love happens once or twice only if you really look for it. Sometimes fall in love with the same person again and again. It is a beautiful feeling. You always want more of that person. You want his happiness and well-being. You want his consent in all important decisions you make. Only he fulfills your sexuality and sensuality and no one else even though someone is more good-looking than your partner. Admire people around you but submit everything to only one person, one soul mate. You will not go to hell if you don’t. Remember there is one life to live and mistakes occur. It is totally your choice if you want to be alone and not find anyone for your soul’s craving. As for me, I am at a phase where I look for peace of mind to do my work, and contribute in small ways to the life of some friends, and family. I feel better this way than trying to find a partner.
I always thought that our senses should be in control and one must never lose control. That is how a Hindu is brought up. I find this a great way to live. But I also admire people being so free that they dance on the road for no reason, swear more than they speak, they indulge in sexual promiscuity, and enjoy their life. Who am I to interfere and stop them? It isn’t my call. I am responsible for myself. I shouldn’t be strict about others. I am no one to judge them. It is their life, their desires. I can find a new company or stay with them, laugh with them but keep my convictions clear about what my life should be like.
I can teach them if they are close to my heart. Mostly when destiny places me with them, I change my character or change them. This is life, misfortune can strike anyone but change your outlook, and everything changes. Be yourself again by becoming the new you with redefined plans and goals that speak from the core of your soul which can achieve happiness and health for your body.
Don’t interpret things written here by religion or spirituality, apply to your life what suits your personality and achieve common ground between your body and soul. These excerpts were written when we were different and those circumstances do not exist today, if you can imbibe wisdom through scriptures, it will be good. If not, achieve wisdom anyways. Be mature and do your thing. Build your strength. It comes with being you. The stronger you become, the more worth it is to live your life.
